Stories

Ready, set, why am I doing this?

So, this is my life. I'm internally screaming. I cry a lot. I'm scared... frustrated. I'm stuck.
Preface
Most of you reading this know me from YouTube or Instagram — from my online shenanigans. I’ve been craving for a place to offload my thoughts, dig deeper in understanding the world around me, and deconstructing what makes me, me. Additionally, I often get messages from the community — from you guys — asking “how to become a YouTuber.” The short answer is: live your life; choose to explore, experience, get to know people, fail, evolve, grow as an individual. This blog is the longform answer — my way of unpacking what that short answer really means. But first, you have to understand who I was before any of you guys knew me. So, here it is:
A Pot of Boiling Water
December 2009: My high school sweetheart and I have been dating for 7 years. I’m in my 6th year as a professional ballerina. My life is predictable. It’s very safe.
In fact, it’s too safe — I’m trapped.
I’m 25 years old and I feel like I’m living someone else’s life. Mom put me in ballet when I was 2 ½ years old and now it’s my job. I’ve done nothing but ballet my whole… entire… life. No other jobs. No other outlets. Did I choose this or did I just stay on the safest path to coast into a semi-successful career? Do I even like ballet?
My boyfriend (let’s call him D) and I haven’t moved forward in our relationship for years — it’s like we’re stuck in a time warp. We still live separately. We go on the same dates. We talk about the same things. We don’t challenge each other but, hey, we’re really good friends.
So, this is my life. I’m internally screaming. I cry a lot. I’m scared… frustrated. I’m stuck.
—–
Have you ever watched a pot of water boil? First, there’s a single bubble that forms at the bottom. It floats to the top. It disappears. And then there’s another bubble. And another. And soon, it’s boiling. If you don’t turn down the heat, the pot overflows.
—–
Michelle found me right when my theoretical pot of water was boiling.
We met a year prior — she’s 10 years older than me, she’s a teacher, she’s a great listener, she’s lived a helluva life — and instead of bringing that boil down to a simmer, her suggestion was a crazy one: pack up your sh*t. Let’s climb Kilimanjaro.
What?
I camped when I was kid — because of, I guess Girl Scouts — but climbing a a giant mountain, hiking through desert, walking in snow, and going to Africa for 10 days seemed OUTRAGEOUS. This was way out of my comfort zone. And it’s exactly what I needed.
I booked my ticket without telling my parents (for fear they’d veto the idea). We flew across the globe. We celebrated New Year’s Eve in a tent in the snow. We climbed a 19,000ft mountain. It is one of the most significant decisions of my life. *
I came back and I was hooked on a feeling: on travel, on nature, on adventure, on exploring the world, and exploring my own potential. I started to question everything. As soon as I came back from Africa, I traveled solo to the Swiss Alps, stayed in a hostel in Chamonix, and skiied by myself. I broke up with D. We went our separate ways and wished nothing but the best. I started rock climbing. I temporarily put ballet on the back burner. Michelle and I hiked Death Valley. We planned other trips. I met Peter (my now fiancé). We went skydiving, I used the last of my life savings — like ALL OF IT — on a 2-month backpacking trip to Peru and an ice-climbing excursion in Bolivia! Woo! Adventure!
September 2010: I’m completely and utterly broke.
——
Damn. Time to hustle.
——
I went back to dancing ballet, taught dance in the evenings, coached kids, booked private lessons, and took any gig that came my way. One day, I got an email casting a small part for an internet video. It paid $50 and it shot in Sacramento. 50 bucks was a good amount of money for me — I was STOKED. I show up and meet Ian and Anthony for the first time — they’re cool dudes and we the shoot goes just fine. They ask if I can come back the next day for another opportunity (they’re looking for someone to be a recurring cast member). I almost didn’t show up because I wanted to save gas. Think about that. My life would have been completely altered had I not showed up.
But I did. It was the “worst audition ever” and I became the 3rd member of Smosh. The rest is history.
Capture1
I hope this gives you some context of who I was before I appeared on YouTube. I was really just finding myself. And I’m still evolving. I think this blog will help me continue to unpack the thoughts rolling around in my head while pulling in discussions that are important to you guys, the readers. I’m just excited to have a place to talk about things that might not always have a place on YT. So, if you’ve made it this far, I thank you for taking the time to read my first post. You da bee’s knees. Stay tuned ❤
Leave a note. Let’s build a community. Start a discussion. Ask a question. What else do you want me to write about? Let me know your thoughts!

 

90 comments

  1. Can you share in more detail about your travels? I absolutely loved this first post and I can’t wait for the many more to come! Well done Mari. Keep doing an amazing job. We appreciate you and all your hard work!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I definitely will! What is most interesting to you about my travels? Things I learned about myself while on the trip? The culture? The gear I use when I travel? How to travel efficiently? I’d love to know your thoughts! 😀

      Liked by 1 person

    2. Yes! Thanks for the feedback! What is most interesting to you about my travels? Things I learned about myself while on the trip? The culture? The gear I use when I travel? How to travel efficiently? I’d love to know your thoughts! 😀

      Liked by 1 person

  2. mari,
    thank you for opening up to us like this-it’s so crazy how life can change in just a few actions!
    glad you’re doing fantastic now ❤️ we love you

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I am going through a rough patch at the moment. I am 22, will be 23 in April 2018, and all I feel is trapped. Even though I still try to go, I suck at school. All I can do is just work jobs that help me pay my bills. However, that’s not I’m meant for, it can’t be. My biggest thing is I want to travel the world, meet new people, and be able to encourage others to the same. I am just unsure of how to start. I know it is what I want, but how can I take that first step, just like you did Mari?

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    1. This is a big question to answer and especially hard because I don’t know your full history, but my best advice to you is: do your research. There are plenty of gap-year companies out there for students to get a taste of travel while taking a year off school. Or perhaps, look into studying abroad with your college. There are many sources out there to help you find ways to travel affordably — the responsibility to do the work and research is on you 😉 best of luck to you!

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  4. It’s so interesting to know what your life was like before Smosh and how fast everything can change. I feel very stuck and “safe” most of the time and this is an inspiring reminder that I can’t possibly predict the amazing opportunities coming my way. I can’t wait to hear more from you!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I didn’t have expectations that it would become a viable career for me. Really, it was a 5th job I took because I was broke. It was a slow transition for me since I kept one foot in the door with ballet. By the time I really transitioned, I made sure that YouTube was more than a gig. Regardless of any career, choose to be intelligent and well-informed; make smart moves and work harder than everyone else. ❤

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  5. I have always been a huge fan and am so proud of you for doing this and sharing with all of us! Congrats about the engagement with Peter and I can’t wait to read more as you update!! Love you so much, Mari!!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I feel like a lot of people go through this thought process of “do I go with the safest decision or take the risk?” People are simply unable to make the decision because they’re un sure and scared of what the outcome could be. What would you say to someone who has big dreams but thinks that they’re impossible? Btw really love the blog post, and I just have to say that you not only inspire me, but many, many other women out there!

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    1. I’d say make calculated well-researched risks. We don’t live in a Hollywood movie — we can’t just take any risk and opportunity and think it’s going to become something. You have to be responsible; you have to do the work, the research, weigh your options, and make smart decisions. Things are a lot less scary when you go about it with more knowledge and a plan 🙂

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  7. This is inspiring! I love this; I love that you just took a bold step and it changed your life. It’s beautiful to see how the little details unfolded, like how you nearly didn’t become a part of Smosh because you wanted to save gas. This is a great illustration of how it’s all about taking opportunities-even the risky ones-that come your way. Thank you for writing this! I’m excited for your blog!❤️

    Liked by 2 people

  8. This is really awesome to read, and learn more about you as a person. I feel the same way sometimes, maybe I’ll try something adventurous to try and push myself.

    Liked by 2 people

  9. I remember Jenna Marbles said “if anyone tells you they know what they’re doing with their lives, they’re lying,” and I’ve stuck to that since then. I think it’s normal to feel trapped but many other people are still making it up as they go. If you take chances, I think you’ll find a positive benefit no matter the outcome if you can still learn from them to move on as a person.

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    1. I LOVE that quote. I completely agree that no experience is in vain as long as you learn from it. I think as long as we keep on a path of evolving and growing and learning from our wins and failures, we’re going about life the right way 🙂 thanks for your feedback!

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  10. I remember you posting about writing in a bullet journal for which I have to ask, cause I’m considering starting one myself in the future, what did you gain from writing in a bullet journal or just writing about your life in general? What do you do to keep writing so that it doesn’t feel monotonous?

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    1. These are fantastic questions — in fact, I’m going to write a full blog post on it, if you don’t mind! For the time being, here are some answers for you: keeping a bullet journal helps me keep a record of my day-to-day activities, gives me a place to doodle and offload general stuff on my mind; it helps me clarify things I need to get done and gives me a sense of accomplishment when I knock things off the to-do list. I’m a huge believer of small wins/micro-wins/micro-accomplishments (there’s a bunch of names for it). They’re powerful in keeping you motivated. Sometimes I use quotes or something I read in a book as a jumping-off point to dig deeper and write about. Looking forward to writing a full post about this!!!

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  11. First of all I can not do anything else than compliment to you. I follow you from the beginning on smosh pit and I was always inspired by you and the rest of the smoshfam.
    Once said that I will only ask if you think that in the future you will came to italy to explore this country and his history like you have done in the past few days in Egypt.

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    1. Thank you so much for your kind words! I hope to explore Italy in the near future! There is so much history — Pompeii, Venice, Rome, Florence (the birthplace of Leonardo da Vinci! Oh, I’d love to do a whole tour learning about his life in depth!).

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You don’t have to thanks me. You and the others have helped me to pass by some very bad period in the last five years. Even in this days, so it is me that have to be thankful to you😊.

        By the way, yes my country is full of history, and full of beautiful place for rock climbing, doing underwater exploration and so on.

        And if you are interest in Leonardo da Vinci you have to visit Florence(Firenze in Italian) and Milan(milano) where there are the most important painting and stuff (I hate to do not knows the rights words in English XD).

        If you never will came to Italy, especially Milan I will be very glad to guide you and obviously Peter through the city😁✌

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Whenever you will come to my country i will be there to help you and your partner visiting it.

        Until then keep doing what you are doing right now, because it’s great 😉

        Waiting to read more from you, and about that I’m a little bit curious about your legacy with your family origin, I love Japan and Japanese culture ❤

        Alla prossima✌ E grazie delle risposte😎 (translation: See you and thank you for answering me)

        Liked by 1 person

  12. Mari, a couple things… 1. Since when are you and Peter engaged(I don’t really need to know that bc that’s your private life)? 2. I’m glad you decided to find an outlet for your feelings and such. I’d love to be able to look into your life more after the audition but before SmoshGames/the early stages of SmoshGames and more into your rock climbing, etc. I found this really interesting to read and I can’t wait to read more of what you post!!

    Liked by 1 person

  13. 1. I’m so happy that you’re letting us in on your past. 2. Thank you for being so open with us. 3. What made you choose those places to travel? What made them stick out to you?

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  14. I almost can’t believe that this particular post came out the same day I decided to drop out of school. I realized that spending time and energy preparing for a career I don’t want doesn’t make any sense.

    Still, I am SOOOO scared because I’m not sure what I actually want to do. It feels like any choice I make from now on could be a terrible mistake.

    Keep up the good work!. I’m really looking forward to reading more about your life : )

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    1. That IS serendipitous! Best wishes to you — my best advice is to turn every emotion you’re going through (fear, enthusiasm, laziness, confusion, etc.) into HUSTLE — even when I feel like I’m up in life, there’s always a part of me that keeps working. Cheers!

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  15. It is really cool that you got to tell us your back story in depth and how your adventures led to your life right now! It is crazy how we all know you now for who you are by one single chance. Thank you for being yourself and I can’t wait to learn more about you after watching since the beginning. 🙂 Always keep exploring, who knows where you’ll go next, besides Egypt. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  16. This is really cool! This was really inspiring. and I’m excited to learn more about you. I’d like to know more about your travels and your Smosh journey in more detail. (Also when did you and Peter get engaged?! Congratulations!)

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Wow great post the fact that you done all this awesome stuff in only the last 8 years shows just how amazing your drive and passion is. I always wanted to ask you if the reason why you did all those things was in part you felt like you were pushed into being something u didn’t Necessarily want to be. Also those pre smosh photos are killer

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yeah, a HUGE part of me wanted to actually do all those things because I got tired of having an excuse not to. I used ballet as a crutch for not living my life fully — and I got to a place where I realized it wasn’t ballet, it was me that was preventing things from happening. I took control and responsibility. That’s when things really started moving!

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  18. Great piece, Mari! I love your writing and would love to read more! I’d love to read about your friendships with the other members in the Smosh cast and just whatever you’d be able/want to express in writing about experiences with them! ^.^

    Liked by 1 person

  19. Really love this. I’m in my junior year in high school and I honestly feel like I’m pressured to find the perfect college and the perfect career I want after high school and college. But how am I supposed to determine what I do for the rest of my life. We all grow as humans, like I wanted to be an engineer but now I want to be a film maker, and before I wanted to be a soccer player, all in the span of high school. This blog taught me, that to live by your standards and what makes you happy, not other people. And to take certain opportunities that are given. I needed this, thank you Mari.

    Liked by 1 person

  20. This is so inspiring. I love hearing about your travel experiences and that rut you were in relates to me so much right now. I just graduated with a degree that I’m now questioning so much and I’m already looking into going back for a degree that I’m actual passionate about. It’s terrifying because I still have debt from my first degree and going back seems daunting. Your words are encouraging and so happy to see how your life has turned around for the better. Also, congratulations to you and Peter!!

    Like

    1. To give you any context, I graduated with a BA in Liberal Studies that I’ve never used to get a job, yet I want to go back to school to get my MBA. In some ways (I’ve realized) that I want to go back to school and earn another degree because of the “lab coat effect” (look that up in detail if you’ve never heard of it — it’s quite interesting). I want the validation of knowing that a school has given me a stamp for completing something. That’s how I operate. I need the validation. I also enjoy having the structure of school. Will it actually do anything for my career? Prooooobably not? I’m not sure. I guess I just want you to know that you’re not alone in this ❤ enjoy the journey and LEARN from each experience — that's an education that doesn't come with years of debt 🙂

      Like

  21. I’d love to hear more about your time after joining Smosh put before the creation of Smosh Games. I’d also love to hear more about your adventure climbing Kilimanjaro. Congratulations on the first post!

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  22. I think everyone who has the courage to step out from their tortured past can succeed in contentment with their own choice to let go. I too let go. I was raised as a Jehovah’s Witness and sadly realized too late after being my parents only child and highest expectation I was bound to let them down as I didn’t share their beliefs. Unfortunately I let it go too far and at age 23 I hit a breaking point. My long standing romantic relationship failed, I was excommunicated and have never spoken to them since nor seen again my childhood friends. Now almost ten years later I started from 2008 with nothing but will power to see me through. All I had was a car and two jobs and could hardly hold on to a steady place to live for awhile. I was determined to build a career from scratch and convert my pain into my own version of pursuing my dreams; to make music and have secular success in my career. I’ve achieved that. I have someone to share my life with who has stuck by my absolute worst to this very day and each years things grow. I have more and more opportunity to travel and keep expanding the places I visit. I have my own life and its rewards from struggling after such a painful and betrayed experience growing up. I remember your early Smosh days. Intuitively I saw that look in your eyes of frustration with a past I imagined was something as you described here. I know what that feels like…to suffocate and have the world collapse on you. It’s why I can say when I looked to inspiring individuals during my worst years you’re the same hero to me as when I met you in San Francisco. Thank you over and over again as many times as it takes.

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    1. Jason — thank you for your response. Earnestly, thank you. I made a new friend a few months ago and she, too, detached herself from her family and past of being raised Jehovah’s Witness — I hadn’t realized the intensity until I heard her story, and now your’s. I’m so happy that you’re at a place where you can smile and stand tall — I’m certain that your life experience has made you into a more compassionate, emotionally intelligent, and fuller human being. Obstacles will continue to be hurled at us throughout our lives — I guess that’s sort of the beauty of it all — looking forward to navigating and sharing experiences through this blog 😀 cheers!

      Like

  23. Mari, I have been following and watching you for a while and your whole life just amazes me for some reason. You are such an amazing person and huge influence to people. I just want to dive more into your life. WHat is it like to be you? What does the world look like through your eyes? How did you build up so much confidence and power? I wanna know how you see the world (culture, ethnic background)

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    1. This is a really cool concept for a blog post and I’ll definitely answer it in detail. I guess the short answer for the time being, though, is that I see the world through a lens of gratitude. Thanks for your response and question 🙂

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  24. I loved this! I mean, watching Smosh, I’ve got a sense of who you are from the bits and pieces you share, but you’ve lived an interesting life and I enjoyed you sharing your thoughts more intimately. I will bookmark your page and surely come back again to read more 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  25. This is really inspiring and I kind of know what you mean.
    When I left high school I made the decision to jump straight into the work force rather than end up in thousands of dollars worth of depth by going to uni. I couldn’t think of anything I would want to seriously major in.
    My friends think I’m the lucky one because I’m earning so much money and living comfortably for someone my age, but truth is I don’t feel it. I’m stuck in this 9-5 job and it just feels like my life is dedicated to it and it just goes on an on. I never have weekends off. I never see my friends. I can’t even remember the last party I went to. I used to be so creative and I just don’t have the spark anymore.
    I managed to get myself time off for a little bit of travel once around my country and I never felt so happy and free. It was so addictive. And I went to a dolphin facility and my heart kind of broke when I realised that my perfect dream job would have been to be a dolphin trainer/carer but I don’t think I could ever get away from this job that has a hold on my life.
    One day I hope to break away like you did and take on some more chances. Keep on being awesome Mari. You’ve always been one of my biggest idols and inspirations!

    Liked by 1 person

  26. Oh man! Life is so weird that one decision has so many variables and can change your future! 😮 Can’t imagine you not being part of Smosh and its reassuring to know that you didn’t really get into doing what you love until the age of 25, because i’m 22 and I put myself down a lot for not having my sh*t together or knowing what I want.
    You are a fully rad human being Mari, I know I don’t know you in person, but I think you are genuinely kind and down to earth. ❤ look forward to more posts 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  27. Heyy. So this helped me more than you’re aware of. Short story is that I kinda feel trapped myself especially after just coming out of a relationship with the girl I thought would be the one. I’m just stuck in such a similar routine that I don’t know how to change. So I’m trying to learn to step out of my comfort zone and find what drives me because if I don’t GUURLLLL MY POT IS SO CLOSE TO BOILING OVER. As you said, I’m internally screaming. Constantly. Anywho. I really needed this and I’m so looking forward to learning much more about you. Thank you for this.

    Like

    1. Tiny changes here and there make for a bigger overall change — work on yourself, use this time to be selfish, make yourself a better human being, and the world will seem like a whole new place 🙂 best wishes to you during this time of transition — ROCK IT! ENJOY IT! LEARN AND GROW! 😀

      Liked by 1 person

      1. HI!!! i just saw this and made an official account. Thank you so much for the advice. I used to be such a positive, happy hearted human but I guess time and trauma took its toll on me. I find myself always being so down and negative nowadays. I’m so looking forward to this fresh start. I am ready to be selfish and grow! When you hit rock bottom, the only way to go is up!

        Liked by 1 person

  28. I’m a younger fan of yours, and I have been with you since your first video, and I was so excited to see you become part of smosh games. You’re an amazing individual who inspires me daily to try and do something new, or something adventurous. You have been a role model to me for 7 years and reading this blog only increases my respect for you because of how you turned your life around from being trapped in your own safe bubble.

    Liked by 1 person

  29. Hey wanna know something funny?
    I’m highly considering something similar.
    I’m exhausted of being…mentally ill we’ll call it. I’m sick of being stuck, of doing nothing, of being afraid of doing anything. I’m not learning anything anymore and what better way to feel dumb and useless? I guess that by wanting more of the future i became afraid of the present and am now stuck in the past…wow that was an embarassing and pretentious sentence!
    Well anyway my best friend told me to come to Argentina and study there. I don’t know any spanish, i get by in english (I’m french) and i haven’t been in school in 4 years since i flew from it, i barely have a high school level in my studies. Oh and i don’t have a lot of money.
    So … why not do it? Who knows, it might be the best decision of my life.
    At least it’s going to be an adventure.
    A very scary, frightening one…

    Like

  30. Hi Mari!

    This is such an inspiring blog. Looking at the comments, it seems that you’re a great inspiration for all of us.
    I’m 20 years old and I’ve been thinking a lot about what I want to do in the future lately. I have a lot of things I’m passionate about. This is great, but it makes it difficult to choose. The things I like the most are creating videos and writing. In 1.5 year I will graduate and get my ‘Bachelor of arts’, which means I will be ‘the allround media professional of tomorrow’. There’s so many choices to make. Will I work as a freelancer? Or do I want to work at a company? Do I want to express myself in my main language (Dutch)? Or in English? I’m also thinking about saving up money by working for half a year after I finish my study, and then travel for half a year. Making life choices is hard, right now I do a bit of everything, which feels like I’m not progressing in anything at all.

    I remember waching some old episodes of Ian is bored the other day. I watched the first episode with you in it. Amazing to see how much of a transition you have made. I’m interested in your personal stories and what it is like to work on Smosh/Smoshgames. Keep up the good work!

    Liked by 1 person

  31. I feel like I am in the exact same place in my life with where you was at back in 2009. I just graduated college last Fall with a Masters in Architecture and have yet to find that fulfilling thing that drives me to push myself to be the best version of myself and makes me excited to get up every morning and grind for what I love to do. I really appreciate you, for sharing your story because for the longest after graduating and getting a job in the field I earned my degree in, I have this empty feeling that I thought I was the only one to experience. One of the things I wanted to be is an entertainer, but I let insecurities and sticking to playing it safe with getting my degree hold me back from truly living and experiencing new things. This blog is a great read and I’m not 100% sure where my path of searching for fulfillment will take me, but just reading your story has touched me and provided me with more motivation to keep pushing forward. I thank you for sharing your story and being such a big inspiration to others.

    Liked by 1 person

  32. Mari, you are such an inspiration!! I am someone who is scared of absolutely everything, i have a fear of heights, driving, flying (never done it) meeting new people, basically everything. Watching smosh just makes me wish i had tried more things when i was younger. Reading this and seeing that you started over basically at 25 ( which im 26 as of 2 days ago lol) is just inspiring. Thank you for posting this. Have a great day/life!!! Can’t wait to read more.

    Like

  33. I love hearing from you about your live especially when you talk about how you became who you are today. I know about Smosh from almost the beginning, I grew up watching them in my teens, helping me through dark days. So of course I was present when you first appeared on Smosh and when Smosh Games was born. I wish, one day I can meet you in person because you appear to be such a lovely caring and adventurous person. I am now 26 years old and I feel stuck. It is somehow calming to know, that almost anyone feels that way one time or another and that the is an “after” to that

    Liked by 1 person

  34. Ik really loved reading. It is just an example of how travelling can chance your life, you’re never the same person coming back. You don’t always know where you are headed and that is the excitment of life! I’m really looking forward to read more about your life and your adventures!

    Liked by 1 person

  35. I love this post so much Mari! I’ve been feeling like my life is too predictable and never changing, but I couldn’t ever put into words how i felt about it. Feeling trapped describes it perfectly! Thank you so much for sharing this with everyone! I would love to hear more about all of the traveling you have done as it seems so interesting 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  36. Been there since the beginning and I’m so excited to follow along with this! Also, you and Peter are ENGAGED!? About time!!! Can’t wait to see where this chapter of life takes you!

    Liked by 1 person

  37. This is amazing! I love that we get this glimpse into your life, because it is so inspirational! I’ve been lucky to have had the opportunity to travel, and it has had such an amazing effect on how I see the world. But since then I’ve been a bit stuck on what to do, and to hear about your experiences gives me hope that I will be able to find what will make me happy and hopefully give me a chance to inspire people the way that you do. I suppose my only question would be about what it was like at the beginning of Smosh Games, where you had to click with these three new guys coming onto the channel.

    Liked by 1 person

  38. You are such an amazing person, honestly someone to look up to Mari. You should really be proud of that! I am so glad that you are happier and opening yourself up. Thank you for being a positive role model in my life for years. I would love to know you’re favorite place you’ve ever traveled and anywhere you would love to go in the future? ❤

    Like

    1. Thank you so much for the positive reinforcement! I, too, feel really grateful for this space and being able to share 🙂 I’d love to go to Thailand and Jordan. My favorite place might be Tokyo — I can just ride the train around all day, people watch, see the city.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. My best friend is studying nursing in Jordan right now and loves it!! She has sent me so many anazing pictures!! I can’t wait to see you go there someday!!

        Like

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